Stages of Love

Have you ever wondered how we tend to evolve in the ways of love? Here is a brief look at love as it unfolds through us. Stage 1: “I love me” This is the stage where “me, me, me” is the object of love. We focus on our safety, security, self-preservation, appearance…the physical aspects of self. Physical sensation rules. Love is confused with sex. Instinct is the predominant consciousness here. This aspect of love is needed because we have to be very aware of the physical self or else we would run into walls and, in many ways, hurt ourselves. However, if we overdo it, we can get stuck in narcissism. Balance is key. Stage 2: “I love you, on condition that…” This is the stage where “you”, another person or thing, is the object of love. Here, we focus on love for family, friends, and most of all, our beloved or significant other. But love is usually limited to one or few people, and handed out on condition that we get something in return. Our big desire is to get into intimate relationship, marry, and have children. Yet, we have this selfish habit of picking people who “complete us”, who fulfill certain needs that we see in ourselves. Unfortunately, these types of relationships aren’t often sustainable because when we outgrow the need, we outgrow the person.

Emotional, relational consciousness rules this sphere of love. Notice that we have an emotional reaction to any person or thing we think about…..whether strongly or faintly…..some degree of attraction or repulsion, even if slight, that depends on how similar or dissimilar the object is to our inner sense of self. Stage 3: “I love to achieve” In the previous stage, we can begin to lose our sense of personal identity in our relationships, if we aren’t careful. So to balance that, this stage involves remembering who we are as an individual, remembering to live our own life’s purpose, and regaining a healthy sense of personal power and achievement. For most, logic and reasoning consciousness rules this sphere. For some, a very abstract and creative consciousness emerges. Our life purpose will tend to match up to the type of consciousness that is most naturally ours. Stage 4: “I love everyone and everything, unconditionally” As we develop a balanced sense of self, we are able to love more unselfishly. In this stage, our physical needs are largely taken care of, we have learned to trust and to share life with others, we have more awareness around our likes and dislikes, and we know what we can do well. The ego self feels developed and accomplished, and we are ready to share of ourselves more expansively. We feel integrated…..our physical, emotional and mental energies in balance. In our calmness, we make contact with our higher self. Intuitive consciousness rules this sphere. We follow our inner and higher guidance. Our love is given without condition. We love for the sake of loving. We love those we haven’t even met, knowing all are related, all are part of the same body of divine consciousness. Stage 5: “We love” In this stage, “I” becomes “We”. Not in some codependent fashion. But in the sense of valuing what is best for the group, rather than a single individual. In group mind, we work collaboratively. Each individual participates, bringing their talents to the effort at hand. Each takes responsibility for their own part in the bigger whole that is the creative process. Higher creativity for the good of all is the consciousness here. “Let’s work together” the mantra. Whether for the sake of the country, the benefit of all humanity, or the salvation of the planet, we strive to make the world a better place for all of life’s citizens. Stage 6: “We love to see the unseen” This is the stage of the visionary consciousness. The heart is trusting and open wide, ready to love and to help others. As such, higher energies pour in, and what was previously hidden and esoteric becomes known. We see what has not yet manifested. We long to bring it into being. We may seem clairsentient, clairvoyant or clairaudient to others who see us as pioneering and inventive. Stage 7: “We are one, we are life, we are love” Here, we see our uniqueness, while realizing our oneness. Connection with higher spiritual realms is our daily way of living. Transcendent consciousness rules. Love is all we see.